So, Teen Vogue was not around in my day. Wait, is this true? Yes, Wikipedia has just confirmed that it premiered in the spring of 2003. Ok, so the magazine has been around for six years, but I’ve never really looked at it until now. The reason being that one of my friends (sup, Steel?) totally wrote a cover feature about break-ups, and why they can actually benefit the ladies. SO. Because I’ve never traveled through this particular teen mag, and because ever since I purchased it this afternoon I’ve been kind of nostalgic for the days of my YM subscription plastered with pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar, what say we travel through this bad boy together?
Pages 2-3: A Marc Jacobs ad? For serious? I guess it IS a mag with the word “Vogue” in the title. Fine.
Page 15: Neutrogena ad. Hellsssss yes, this is what I remember about teen magazines.
Page 17-20: Coach ad. Okaaay…where is all the editorial? And photo spreads of Leo?
Page 28: Summary of the article: “142 (on top of a star) On The Cover (funky font) Love hurts (bold) Brokenhearted over a breakup? Getting dumped may have more benefits that you’d think. Sharon Steel reports.” Boy does she. BUT first…
Pages 32-33: Chuck plugs KSWISS!
Page 39: Milk ad. Didn’t know these still existed. I totally used to collect them. I probably had like 40, taped up all over my bedroom. And Absolut ads. I mean, what? Okay, I’ll stop talking about ads.
Page 58: Selena Gomez! I LOVE her. She is so cute and has the prettiest, most darling face. And you know what? I’ll say what everyone is thinking: suck it, Demi Lovato.
Page 61: Okay, I know I said I would stop commenting on the ads but there is a fucking DOONEY & BURKE ad in here. The hell? One, this mag is aimed at fifteen year olds and b, holy shit that probably is worth lots o’ money. Not that a huge chunk of my job entails ad sales in a print publications. Moving on.
Page 66: Yay, the requisite article about a Serious. Teen. Issue. Am I a little disappointed it isn’t about sex? Yes, I’ll admit it. But it’s kind of reassuring to know that the “experts” are STILL mulling over the exact same issues surrounding teenage binge drinking as they were in 1999.
Page 78: I want all of the clothing and accessories mentioned in this prom special spread.
Page 91: I feel old…who the eff is Bo Burnham? Apparently, he “doesn’t want to be like Michael Cera with a guitar.” Well thats a shame; everybody loves Michael Cera. Re-prioritize your goals, Bo.
Page 95: Teen Vogue has a “mobility index.” Is this like NYMag’s approval Matrix? Moving on.
Page 111: I also would like all of the items in Beauty & Health’s 10 Most Wanted not-goth-Lauren-Conrad-friendly black makeup items.
Page 119: There are very large, clear style tips written on this page. And also a dude in overalls.
Page 132: Cover story on Emma Roberts. Don’t care.
Page 140: Lily Allen says she plans on watching 30 Rock on her tour bus this spring. Me likes. Also, the pink hair was cool.
Page 143: SHARON’S ARTICLE! EEEE! Don’t want to spoil anything, so I’ll just sum it up: “Melissa’s” ex-bf sounds crazy, Gossip Girl reference, lady writer quote, expert quotes, happiness from LSav
Page 159: Jewel-Bright prom picks! Someone take me back in time and slap my face: I wore black to one prom, and ivory to another. This calls for a do-over.
And on THAT note…we’ve made it through! Hope you enjoyed. Congratulations, Sharon!